


Like getting blood from a stone

by BarPurple



Series: Sherlolly Against the World [35]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blood Drinking, F/M, Paperwork, Talk of safe sex, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 08:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: Vampires are a known, but classified part of modern life. Unfortunately since the government is involved there are masses of forms that need to be completed when a human enters into a relationship with a vampire. Since Sherlock is being stubborn, poor Mycroft has to asked the necessary questions.





	Like getting blood from a stone

Mrs Hudson winced as another crash sounded from the upstairs flat. Molly sighed as she took their drinks out of the microwave.

“That was Mycroft I think.”

“I’m going to lynch the pair of them if they keep abusing my fixtures and fittings.”

The landlady took a sip of her drink and pulled a face; with a sly wink to Molly she fished a hip flask out of her sewing box and added a generous slug to the warmed liquid. Molly dithered for a moment before accepting a measure for her own mug.

“I’m not back in the morgue until tomorrow, so why not?”

“That’s the spirit. We’re going to need it to cope with those two.”

As Molly took a sip of the brandy laced blood Mrs H continued her gentle tirade against the brothers Holmes; “I don’t understand why Sherlock is being such a baby about this.”

“Do you have siblings Mrs H?”

“Oh, not for the past seventy years or so dear, why?”

“Did you ever like discussing your love life with them?”

The older woman chuckled: “You didn’t talk about that with anyone back in my day.”

Molly mentally counted to three before Mrs H asked; “Everything alright in that department for you and Sherlock?”

-x-x-x-

“Sherlock! Will you just sit down and answer the damn questions!”

Sherlock flounced across the room and dropped into his chair. He glared at his brother who pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“You knew when you became romantically entangled with Dr Hooper that these checks would be a feature of your relationship. The Blood Health Regulations clearly stipulate…"

Sherlock scrunched his nose; “Don’t quote the lore at me Mycroft. I know the requirements. My objection is to having to answer these questions to you of all people.”

Mycroft shifted his grip on his pen, looking for all the world as if he’d rather be throttling his brother; “Because you have ignored the letters you have been sent and nobody else wanted the job. I assure you I am not happy about this either, but it must be done.”

Sherlock still looked surly, but he sagged and waved a hand, which Mycroft took as a sign of the small modicum of cooperation he was going to get.

“Very well, question one, how long have you and Doctor Hooper been in an intimate relationship?”

-x-x-x-

“Oh no! Really?”

Molly was flushed and laughing as Mrs H recounted the first time she’d had to comply with the Blood Health Regulations.

“Yes, the poor doctor didn’t know where to look when I brought in all three of my regular donors. Well it was the roaring twenties. Oh, I do miss Rachel and the boys.”

-x-x-x-

“And are you currently providing blood directly or indirectly for anyone else?”

“Of course not.”

“Any recent drug use?”

Sherlock rolled his eyes, “Do you really think Molly would let me get away with that? She knows if I’ve had so much as a paracetamol in between feeds.”

“There are some who like to ingest drug laced blood, quite the rush apparently.”

Sherlock glared; “My Molly isn’t one of them.”

Mycroft marked the details on the form and his face wrinkled into a look of distaste. He cricked his neck and braced himself for the inevitable yelling that the next section would bring.

-x-x-x-

The floors of Baker Street didn’t quite muffle the sound as the shouting started again. Molly and Mrs H shared a look and both said at the same time; “Sex section.”

-x-x-x-

“For God’s sake! No, Molly has not fed from me during sex! We know the risk of triggering a Change is fifty percent higher!”

With an air of infuriating calm Mycroft noted the answer on the form.

“And you are using protection for all types of sexual contact?”

Sherlock snarled and bounced from his chair. A moment of slamming about in the bedroom and he returned with an armful of boxes which he dumped on Mycroft’s paperwork.

“Condoms, dental dams and gloves.”

He flopped back into his chair with a rictus grin plastered on his face. Mycroft tipped the boxes from his clipboard to the coffee table and gingerly picked up the one that had slid down the side of his chair. He raised an eyebrow at the claim of ‘Realistic strawberry flavour’ before adding to the pile.

“A simple yes would have sufficed Sherlock.”

-x-x-x-

“Have you talked about turning him?”

Molly shook her head; “It’s far too soon for that. I’ve not been this way for a full year yet, and you know how the Change would affect his work.”

Mrs H nodded sadly; “Yes, he couldn’t go running about getting into all the scraps he does now if he was one of us.”

The Blood Health enforcement officers would have a fit over Sherlock leaking everywhere when he came to blows with a suspect, or got shot, or stabbed. The risk for an accidental Change would be too great.

-x-x-x-

“Have you considered asking to be Changed?”

“None of your business brother mine.”

Mycroft arched an eyebrow at him and stared. It took less than a second for the data to fall into place.

“Oh, oh I see, you have thought about it, but you haven’t discussed it with Dr Hooper yet.”

“Shut up Mycroft.”

-x-x-x-

Half an hour later a slightly harried Mycroft strolled into Mrs Hudson’s kitchen to find her and Molly giggling at something he had more sense than to enquire about.

“Dr Hooper, I return Sherlock to your tender care. Thank you for whatever you did to persuade him to answer the questions.”

Molly kissed Mrs Hudson’s cheek and gave Mycroft a cheery grin. 

“I better go and do it again to stop him sulking.”

A muscle in Mycroft’s cheek twitched as she skipped out of the room. Mrs Hudson dropped her chin into her hand and sighed; 

“Oh to be young and in love.”

He gave her a small smile; “Quite. Now, we need to discuss your paperwork Mr Hudson.”

“It can’t be time to update my cover story already can it?”

“Yes twenty years have just flown by.”

-x-x-x-

Sherlock was sat in his chair when Molly reached the flat. He greeted her with a real smile and started to his feet.

“Hang on I need to rinse my mouth out.”

He eased back, “Ah drinking bull’s blood with Hudders?”

With a mouthful of antiseptic she hummed a positive. After gargling and rinsing for the set amount of time she spat in the sink and turned to find Sherlock leaning against the door frame. She snaked her arms around his waist and sighed happily as he nuzzled his face in her hair.

“Was it really that bad?”

The groan he gave was as dramatic as she’d been expecting.

“I promise next time I will just fill in the damn forms. I never want to discuss our love life with my brother ever again.”

Molly grinned, “Do I get to say it now?”

He grumbled against her hair which she took to be a yes, so she stepped back a little and gently poked him in the chest.

“I told you so.”

Sherlock pulled her back into a hug, “Yes you did, and I should know better than to ignore you by now.”

“Yes, you should. How about we get a few things from our drawer of fun and go to bed for the rest of the afternoon?”

“Wonderful idea, but everything from the drawer is currently on the coffee table,” – He gave her questioning look a smug grin, - “Had to try and disturb my brother, didn’t I?”

Before Molly could comment Sherlock picked her up and encouraged her to wrap her legs around his waist. 

“Since our supplies are in the living room, I believe now would be a wonderful time to christen the couch Doctor Hooper.”

She could hear his heartbeat speeding up, this was exciting him. She teased his lips with butterfly kisses, “I like you’re thinking Mr Holmes.”

Caught up in the moment and each other, neither of them noticed Mycroft’s umbrella leaning against the chair.


End file.
